We all know how vitally important it is for children to build secure attachments with their primary caregivers, both for a sense of security and belonging now and in the future. It is much harder for this supportive relationship to develop when the primary caregiver has difficulties of their own, and when children need to be taken into care. The adverse experiences being endured by children in these circumstances have been shown to have a long term effect on future mental and physical health
This page collects some of the most useful writing on the topic of sling use among adoptive and foster families.
Adoptive and foster parents will know that their children need all the love they can give; and a sling can play an useful part in building these bridges amidst the turmoil. The biochemistry of creating a secure attachment is not a conscious process, or one that depends on ancestry; the release of oxytocin and the down-regulation of the stress response that happens with consistent, close and loving contact happens in the background.
There are many other benefits in terms of language acquisition, socialisation, and also helping children to learn which of the adults around them are their primary caregivers.
Sue, a foster parent in the South, is a strong advocate of using slings as part of her care.
“Many of the babies who we care for have been exposed to either drugs, alcohol or domestic violence whilst in the womb. Carrying them has, without doubt, enabled them to develop into calm, sociable, happy, securely attached babies who meet (and often exceed) their developmental milestones.
Babies who have been neglected for the first few months of life can be very wary of people and situations. By carrying them they learn more about the world from a position of safety. They take cues from watching our faces and learn to trust people and situations more more quickly.
Using carriers when introducing babies to their adoptive parents show the babies that this is someone to be trusted. Only I carry the baby in a sling whilst they stay with me although many other people hold them. However from the first day of introductions the adoptive mother wears the baby in my (the baby’s) sling. I believe this shows the baby that Mummy (or Daddy) is a special person which enables the attachment to switch between us. “
“Children with disrupted attachments are often indiscriminate in who they seek to have their needs met by. Children should always be guided back to their parents by family and friends if they are approached by the child particularly for food and nurture. This process is called funnelling and is extremely important in giving a clear message to the child about who their primary caregivers are. A sling or carrier could be helpful in this process, reducing indiscriminate attachment seeking behaviour and discouraging over-enthusiastic family and friends from picking up and nurturing the child.” Carrying the Connection
This blog post from Slings and More (based in the North East) assesses the science behind how slings can help adoptive and foster parents to build secure attachments.
“Foster and adoptive families have an immense role in helping to form strong attachment bonds with the children they look after and to help those children who do not have strong attachment bonds to begin to form them.”
This is a personal account of a mother’s experience of using slings as she adopted a little girl.
Her father told her: “You two should have some time alone. She needs to learn your smell and the sound of her mama’s heart.”
Perinatal mental health challenges can be very real for adoptive parents too, and slings can be enormously helpful for all shapes and structures of family unit.
